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You are here:  Inspirational Messages General 4-08-10 Inspirational Message: Non-Violent Communication
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4-08-10 Inspirational Message: Non-Violent Communication

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Written by Arianha   
Thursday, 08 April 2010 08:24

Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.


Thr four components of Non-violent communication are:

Observation, Expressing our feelings, Expressing our needs, and Making our Request

Many times we make our observation and express our feelings without expressing our needs and making our request.
This makes it nearly impossible for the other person to have any ability to meet our needs and answer our request so that we can move on to a healthier relationship with both people participating. If we merely state our observation and express our feelings it does not include the other person in the communication.

Simply follow the guidelines of non-violent communication including the four components and you will enhance your chances for successful communication in all your relationships.

1) Observation
Observe what is happening in the situation. What are we observing others saying or doing that is either enriching or not enriching our life?

2) Feeling
How do we feel when we observe this action?
Are we hurt, scared, joyful, amused, irritated?

3) Needs
What needs of ours are connected to the feelings we have identified?

4) Request
To clearly ask for what you want to receive from the other person.

If we express only the first two components of NVC we end up being frustrated and angry and we haven't told the other person what we need and what they can do to fulfill our need.
They are just hearing our observation and our feelings which doesn't allow room for the interaction and they can feel judged and unmotivated to do anything about it.

EXPRESSING ANGER:

1. Stop. Breathe.

2. Identify your judgemental thoughts.

3. Connect with your needs.

4. Express your feelings and unmet needs.

The more you become a connoisseur of gratitude, the less you are a victim of resentment, depression and despair. gratitude will act as an elixir that will gradually dissolve the hard shell of your ego-your need to possess and control-and transform you into a generous being. The sense of gratitude produces true spiritual alchemy, makes us magnaimous large souls.

EXPRESSING APPRECIATION:

1. State the actions that have contributed to your well-being.

2. State the particular needs of yours that have been fulfilled.

3. State the pleasureful feelings engendered (created) by the fulfillment of those needs.


SAYING THANK YOU TO SOMEONE

1. This is what you did.

2. This is what I feel.

3. This is the need of mine that was met.